The world keeps turning.

It's been almost a week, but a lot has happened.

I had biopsies done two days ago.  I fretted a lot, and I was really scared, but I made it.  The tough part now is waiting for results.  I just have to be strong, and remember that no matter what the tests say, I will fight... until I can fight no more, or until I win.

By now everyone should know Steve Cannon by name, at least if they've looked at my blog.  Two days ago, the day I had my biopsies done, Steve's uncle was diagnosed with stomach cancer.  It's such a small world, and in some ways, a very cruel one.  I'm sure Steve would appreciate those unfamiliar to check out the log of his journey:  http://www.theruntocurecancer.com

Something else has been slightly grating my nerves the past couple of days.  Lots of Justin Bieber fans have suddenly joined the "cancer" bandwagon because he has been giving attention to a 6 year-old fan who's dying of a rare childhood cancer.  While it's great he's doing this, he's done things like kiss her "on the lips," gave her an engagement ring, and is calling her "Mrs. Bieber."  You know what I'd like to see?  I'd like to see him donate a boatload of money to cancer research himself, rather than focusing on publicity stunts.  I'd also like to see his fans learn something about what is really happening to this little girl, not just making statements like, "she can't die, it would break Justin's heart!"  Is this ALL about Justin?  Really?  I'm glad Justin himself is trying to make this little girl happy, but there is so much more that could be done here...

I guess maybe that was a little bit ranty, and I apologize.  I'm sure I will have more to say soon, but for now, please send positive thoughts, vibes, or prayers to Steve, his uncle, and everyone else you know who's in a fight.

Today's inspiration.

It's been awhile since I posted, almost a week, which is unheard of for me in Blog Land!  I've had a busy week, though, so I have an excuse.  A lot of really cool things have happened, however!

On Thursday night, I bought a mile of Steve Cannon's "Run to Cure Cancer."  I donated my paycheck from band camp to his cause - the LAF/Livestrong.  Steve's friend Brian is recording the journey in the blog, and gave me a shout-out in the post that day.  I am unworthy, but flattered nonetheless.  What a true honor!  (See pic below!)  presence* also got a mention in an earlier post last week for one of my tweets.  (See second pic.)  Again, so very honored to be a part of this!

I survived a week of teaching, and each day was reminded how lucky I am to be able to do what I love.  I didn't have much energy the rest of the day when I was finished, but I had a fun time!  This week my efforts will be put toward endeavors closer to home - my thesis, playing music, and presence*!

Speechless.

Steve added me to his "team" on the sign in his RV. I am so freaking honored I don't even know what to say.

 

Intentions and Heroes.

When I started this blog, I didn't think it would become a place for me to blog about my thyroid experiences, but I'm noticing that it has.  While on one hand I'd like people to know about my struggle (from the standpoint that it might offer them some support), on the other hand I feel like I'm complaining about something so trivial.  I'm so lucky, right?  Look at the loved ones I've lost, and the loved ones of people I care about who have been lost to cancer.  I might not even have it.  Yes, this whole road might be because we need to prevent it, but still!

I guess my intention really is to share with the world stories from the battlefield - those with cancer, those without cancer, and even my own fights.  It isn't about who is suffering more, who is suffering less... the fact is, we're all having to watch our lives change because of this horrible illness, each of us in our own particular way.

But let's move on to the happier topic of heroes...

Steve Cannon is running 40 marathons in 40 days, all the way around Lake Michigan.

Do I really need to say much more than that to prove he's a hero?  Probably not.  But it gets better.

Steve is doing this to raise money for cancer research.  (His website is at http://www.theruntocurecancer.com.)   So if his incredible strength and athletic ability isn't enough to render him a superhero, his devotion to this cause certainly is.

Tonight Steve responded to one of my tweets on Twitter.  I felt like a Justin Bieber fan for the first time in my life - a personal hero acknowledged something I sent!  I didn't send it for a nod, but I sent it because I really, truly believe this man is doing something amazing.  He also followed me, and asked his followers to send me good mojo.  I hadn't meant to be so negative on my personal twitter, but I had a really rough day of it. Honestly, tonight, and Steve's support, changed all that.  I feel like I have this new outlook - one which I had built up on my own, but that was just driven home by this acknowledgement that the fight really is worth it.

I know I won't be in this terrific of shape any time soon, but shooting for that 5K in July isn't such a big deal when I think about running 40 marathons in 40 days.  If I have to do the 1.5-mile walk instead, I will... but July 28, I can be in much better shape by then, right?  Well, I don't know... I can't count my chickens, but I know that I sure as heck will be in the gym tomorrow night, back at it.  Slow and steady...  that's all I can do.  One day, I'll run a 5K every day for a month, or something simple, just to give back.

Until then, presence* is my attempt to give back, and it's going to be a great one - thanks to all of you!  (:

Realizations: I am not this illness.

This is another personal entry, but I think it applies to everyone battling sickness.  This thinking represents a powerful realization in my life, and marks an anniversary for me - the beginning of a new outlook and acceptance of this illness.  Under the ADA, it's a "disability."  I think that many of us have conditions of some sort that are defined that way, but the truth is, "disability" is a misnomer.  Screw that.  I am stronger than any stupid autoimmune illness, or even cancer!

I woke up this morning, and was so dizzy I couldn't get out of bed.  I had a fever, which is normal for me, and I felt really frustrated, and totally unsure of how I would ever be able to keep a positive attitude about this.

Then the thought flash burst in my mind:  You have a chronic illness, an autoimmune illness.  You can let it take over your life and allow it to keep you in this horrible, depressed, lethargic, negative, miserable state, or you can choose to beat it and live a normal life.  Yes, you will have to work a little harder than everyone who doesn't face this problem, you will have to find loving, supportive people who are willing to stand beside you on good days and on bad days, and you will have be miserable in the gym training some days... but you CAN beat it, you have the option, if you choose it.

Sometimes my rational mind makes a lot of sense.  Yes, every day is a battle, but it's not a battle that can't be won.

Awareness.

Official thyroid cancer awareness bracelet.  I’ve had the Livestrong bracelet since my first round with this back in 2005.

For the kids (and myself!). (;

Down below is a picture of a pretty bouquet.  It's called the "Sunny Day Pitcher of Cheer."  10% of the proceeds for every one sold (roughly $6-$8) is donated to Alex's Lemonade Stand.  (Link below.)  I really want one of these, but you can't get them in my zip code.  (Wonder if you can get them in Kent?)

Order (or try to!) here.

Alex's Lemonade Stand is a childhood cancer charity, and one I hope to eventually sponsor an event for.  Please see the website for more information!

Finally, this is an event in Philly that Alex's sponsors as a fundraiser.  My goal is to be healthy in November, and to make it one of the runs I participate in!

The Lemon Run.