A Personal Post from my Thyroid Journey.

It's a chilly, overcast day in Huron County.  I have a hoodie on, and I am still freezing.  Granted I'm always cold because of my thyroid, but today it's unbearable.  I need to go get another hoodie to put on top of this!

Now I have two hoodies on, and a hat... and my hood up.  It's pretty ridiculous the way things have been lately.  It isn't really that cold, but such is life.

I have to say that since I started working on presence*, I have learned so much.  I'm not really so big on pitying myself for stupid little things anymore, now I just am aware of my limitations, and realize that reaching out and talking about my experiences helps. I have to cope, and I've not accepted that before.

Now, to mention some things that I'm dealing with.

I've always had a problem with not eating.  It's been worse in the past month or so.  I have been giving it an honest attempt to watch my caloric intake, especially since the beginning of feeling like this.  The truth is, on days I feel really hungry, I am lucky to net 1100 calories.  Most days I average 700 or 800.  It's better than nothing, but it's a beginning.  It's nice to lose weight, something that's always been a struggle, especially with thyroid problems.

The biggest worry aside from my throat in general has been the way I felt in the past couple of days.  My fever spiked at 102 on Saturday, and finally went down Sunday morning.  I think it broke at some point in the middle of the night.  Today and yesterday, I've had a new experience - I sometimes feel like my legs are just going to give out on me at any given second.  I tried running, just a very short distance, and the weakness in my leg muscles was unbelievable.   I've never had this happen before; I've had plenty of general fatigue and weakness, but this is new.

All I can do at the end of the day, though, is be thankful for how lucky I am to not be sicker.  Sometimes that's tough - I don't like the idea that I shouldn't be allowed to be scared or worried just because I'm not sicker than I am.  I have to let go of that "MUST BE STRONG ALWAYS" mentality.  I've heard some pretty ugly reports from people who had thyroid biopsies about how painful they are, and I've heard from a lot of people who have NEVER had them that they're "not a big deal at all, and don't hurt."  Excuse me, but how do YOU KNOW?!

I guess I vented enough for one day.  Thank you for supporting the endeavors of my organization if you're reading this, and thank you for simultaneously supporting me and my loved ones (even if you didn't know you signed up for that)!  <3  I appreciate you all!