Realizations: I am not this illness.

This is another personal entry, but I think it applies to everyone battling sickness.  This thinking represents a powerful realization in my life, and marks an anniversary for me - the beginning of a new outlook and acceptance of this illness.  Under the ADA, it's a "disability."  I think that many of us have conditions of some sort that are defined that way, but the truth is, "disability" is a misnomer.  Screw that.  I am stronger than any stupid autoimmune illness, or even cancer!

I woke up this morning, and was so dizzy I couldn't get out of bed.  I had a fever, which is normal for me, and I felt really frustrated, and totally unsure of how I would ever be able to keep a positive attitude about this.

Then the thought flash burst in my mind:  You have a chronic illness, an autoimmune illness.  You can let it take over your life and allow it to keep you in this horrible, depressed, lethargic, negative, miserable state, or you can choose to beat it and live a normal life.  Yes, you will have to work a little harder than everyone who doesn't face this problem, you will have to find loving, supportive people who are willing to stand beside you on good days and on bad days, and you will have be miserable in the gym training some days... but you CAN beat it, you have the option, if you choose it.

Sometimes my rational mind makes a lot of sense.  Yes, every day is a battle, but it's not a battle that can't be won.